Two years… more than two years have passed with no writing. I’m not entirely sure why that is. Best way I can describe it is a major course change. I believe that somewhere along the way in my journey, I started doing things for myself instead of what God wanted me to do. I started to surrender to selfish feelings and thoughts. I wanted so much to be loved that I forgot to give love, to serve those around me. My mind was controlling my actions instead of my heart. I stopped listening to the still small voice. I was off traveling, working, spending time on what I considered to be important things in life all the while I was setting myself up for a fall. My family life suffered, my health, my mental and emotional well being was in a very dark and distant place from God. I couldn’t see any way out. I started feeling sorry for myself and completely forgot about all the things I had to be grateful for.
Thankfully, God never stops working on us. God never gives up on us. God never abandons us in our time of need, sorrow, and shame. He shines a light down in the darkness and once we pause, turn toward him and begin to look for it, there He is. God is there with open arms waiting to wrap us in his warmth, tenderness, compassion, healing, and love. All the things he gives us so that we can go out into the world and share it. We can’t give what we don’t have and for a long while I felt like I had nothing to offer. Nothing that would help make the world a better place. I tried to do it without His help, being selfish enough to think that it was what I had to offer people, instead of what God could offer them. I’m merely a man with countless flaws, but through the salvation and grace of God, my imperfections are the meeting place for those around me.
I pray that God will continue to work in me and through me to bring people closer to Him. To work miracles in my life so I can be salt and light in the world around me. I pray he continues to fill me with the heart of a servant so I will always know the joy of giving myself to others.