I was raised in a Christian home with Christian values. We went to church every Sunday and always sat in the same pew. I guess it meant a lot to my mother because she kept the old pew when the church got new ones. I enjoyed church in my youth, but as I grew older my desire to go to church was nonexistent. I’m not sure why I was so against it. I guess I could see the hypocrisy that was going on and it seemed no one really enjoyed the service; certainly nobody was on fire with the passion of God. It was just nice to be around the people you were close to and shared stories with.
My desire for church was nonexistent as I said, my desire for God was even less. I didn’t really know who he was to me. The Lutheran church is pretty dry, about the only thing we are really good at is having enough food to feed the entire community when it is only for around 30 or 40 people. If you go home hungry, its definitely your own fault. When someone mentioned God, I felt a sense of unknown, curiosity, and confusion. Who was God and why was I supposed to worship him? I never knew anyone who had received a miracle or at least I never knew of such a thing. I heard all the stories of Jesus and the miracles he performed but that was all so long ago, nothing like that ever happened now. Had God’s miracles ceased; or had mans sinful and selfish ways just masked the miracles? Those were questions at the time I didn’t even know to ask. It would take me over 36 years to discover for myself the miracle of God in my life. It took the story of my life up to that point to transform me. To show me the miracles God had given me, he had to humble me in a very powerful way. To show me the greatest version and vision of myself he needed me to let him in. God knows all and it is up to us to see it for ourselves. We must open the door, we must ask God to come in, and we must seek his guidance.
May God bless you on this journey. My hope and prayer is that you continue to seek God in your own life. May he bless you as he has me.